When I take a deep breath and step back to blink twice for fresh eyes, I can't help but think to myself, "What a strange and wonderful place this is that all my life's stumbling's taken me to." To be a necessity in some wonderful woman's eyes, it's what any man would dream of, isn't it? Or maybe that's the catch, the rump right there. I never needed anyone in my life. I had people, but I ran away. I was good at running, and I was always honest, which made me tricky, I suppose. Did I need them though? No. There was never a need, I don't think (or maybe I'm just being daft) I never needed anyone. But for forever and as long as I can remember, I'd always wanted and wished to be needed.
The old adage holds true: be careful what you wish for, as they say. Except I think it'd be a hard stretch to call me careful. Lazy, yes. Scattered, most definitely. But not careful. No, being careful's about holding back, which personally I think is a waste of time. The only thing I've been "careful" about is probably publishing books, and look how that's turned out. No, if I'm going to be something when it comes to wishing, I'd rather be grateful.
Grateful. Cognizant. Deserving.
I need to deserve this, and that's how she makes me better. Thank you, Claire.
