Simian Mobile Shingles

They say shingles is an old man's.  Something reserved for old farts far past their prime, in their twilight years.

So maybe I'm an old man then, maybe death's grip is slowly tightening around my ribs and the end is nigh.  Or maybe my immune system is just shot.  

That's most likely the case because the days now are like one midnight freight train of stresses coupled with stresses coupled with stresses by the boxcar full.  And Samira won't talk to me.  She was so young, and fun to fuck.  Oh, well.  She deserved better, I was an asshole.  I guess the track's run out.  Time to hop off.

Fuck shingles.

Two Way Monologue

"Are you still in love with her?"

"Yeah, but only because on one's

kicked me off the train yet.  And I

like the way it feels sometimes.

"That full feeling when I'm with her.  

That fine pining right when she's gone.  

I don't need anything else."

"Remember when you weren't in love?"

"I don't want to.  

Without love,

I'm just an animal.

Well-articulated."

Angels and Demons

There's a sense in me that a new age is dawning.  Things feel different.  Nothing is as it was last year, and what's funny is that it all changed so drastically in such a short period of time.  From before Bali to now, everything's changed, everything around me, and something inside me.  I'm restless and I don't know why.

Maybe it's because my laptop of 6 years is gone, victim to a rogue beer in Bali.  All my old music, gone for the most part.  It'll come back to me.

Maybe it's because my bicycle of 6 years is gone, victim to a prick fucker toting what I can only assume is a massive set of bolt cutters, heavy enough to slice clean through my uLock.  I'll get another one.

Maybe it's because I my job of 6 years is over and done with.  I quit on a fancy whim because well, it just didn't feel like home anymore.  And I'm back in school.

It feels good and devious, and she's got something to do with it.
I have no idea what I'm doing.

Quote of the Day: It's All About Last Names

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…"

~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Here's how I see it: If she weren't a soul mate just like so, the sex would've been better.  I wouldn't be back in school.  I'd still have the same job.  Her birthday'd be in July not January.  And lightbulbs wouldn't flicker when I see her.